Ok so I looked at my emails (I’ve been actually trying to keep my inbox small lately) and I saw a new Cuca video. Ok, fair enough I’ll look. What song is it ? Hmmm, S/Mileage’s “Dot Bikini”….. okay. I have some fears about this but I load it up anyway.
Before I get to see the video I see the comments and I facepalm totally. Comments such as “Very good !! I love your skirt and your top :D” …. Ok… I do know this song (yes, I am that sad) and I can only imagine what Cuca is wearing to inspire that response. I’m angry already.
Why ? Because Cuca’s barely 11 if that, and despite being talented, there are way too many people who post creepy comments on her videos. And when a 10-11 year old dances to a happy song in a spotted bikini and people comment on the outfit your jaw sort of hangs open and you go “oh come on.. could you NOT contain your pedo desires, weirdo ?”
I love when Cuca dresses up in amusing outfits to suit the song, and this one was ok I suppose, but seriously. Comment on her. Don’t comment on the outfits. Jesus H Christ.. leave the girl alone you weirdos. Sorry if I feel protective of Cuca, but I do. She’s my adorable little japanese talented daughter that I wish was my own. She’s NOT SOMETHING TO MAKE THOSE SORT OF COMMENTS ABOUT.
So anyway. Yes, actually, her performance WAS really good. I mean apart from the fact that it was incredibly energetic, the fact is, that particular song has some adorable moves. Some of it is pretty corny and to be honest I had a really, really hard time keeping a straight face through this video. When she does the really energetic moves and does the backwards egyptian style steps in profile to the camera and the crazy star jumps I find it very hard not to burst out laughing, but when she does the “doki doki doki doki doki” bits… Ok. That is pretty awesome. It’s not weird, not hilarious or anything like that. It’s cool.
Cuca, you really are progressing as a dancer. Ok, your singing clearly needs work, especially in this song, but your effort and enthusiasm and dancing talent. Well, it’s clear you have what it takes to make it. Sayumi Michishige couldn’t sing to save her own life either when she joined MoMusu, but she got taught and got better and she became a great idol due to her personality and her dancing talent and she DOES have some singing moments where she does a fine job.
Honestly I think it’s pretty clear why noone has picked Cuca up by now. It’s not about her singing. It’s just that despite being about 11 now… she still looks like she did when she was 8. She’s too young looking. Even Berryz Koubou, despite being young, had a fairly adolescent, sexualised look. Cuca just looks like a kid. She even looks too young to join the H!P Kids. Honestly, it’s the only thing I can think of to explain why she hasn’t been signed.
But, I wonder. Has someone contacted her parents yet ? Surely they have. Come on.. Japan loves a child star, and Cuca is one of the best. SOMEONE has her waiting in the wings, I just know it. I’ll be really mad if it’s NOT Tsunku to be honest. Cuca deserves his talent and exposure. But, ok. If he doesn’t see it, I’ll be glad if someone else does.
Just, for fuck’s sake.. Dont comment on her outfit in this video. It’s a song-relevant costume. Stop pervin’ on my Cuca you weirdos. Call her cute, call her song awesome and mention her talent… but leave this costume alone ok ? It’s odd enough that she’s wearing it as is. It’s a great performance. That’s all.
I’ve blogged about both of these songs before and posted the videos here, but I want to post them again together, because these two songs are really meaningful to me. How often in today’s society is a song about something REAL ? Sure, you might get the occasional song about insanity or about the stress of life, but how many songs say “Hey, fuckers, you’ve got it all wrong. You’re looking at things the wrong way and you really need to step the fuck back and reprioritise because the things you believe in are just bullshit” ?
Well I know two. One is American, and you will ALL know that song. The other is Korean and very few of you will know it. But both of them carry the same message… “Hey. There’s more to life than money or beauty. Happiness and a good heart are what’s important, not how beautiful someone is or how rich they are”.
I may be a writer, but I’m not a song writer. I have written a couple and at least one I think is pretty cool, but they tend to rhyme too much and I sort of write songs like a sixth grader writes poetry, but I have things to say, and if I ever wrote a song, I think it would be about the throw-away materialistic nature of society today. In Australia in particular, the cost of labour is so high that fixing things is totally impractical. If your MacBook Air screen breaks, guess what ? It’ll cost you less to buy a new one that it will to repair the old one (no, literally, I was quoted the price of a new screen and labour and it was more than the laptop was originally worth). Even if your fridge breaks down… in Australia, you don’t get it fixed. It costs too much to do so.
But in somewhere like Vietnam or Thailand, they fix EVERYTHING. I mean if a speaker cone is broken, they won’t throw it away. They will pull it apart, unwind the copper coils and wind on new copper. Anything that can’t be fixed, they will strip for all usable parts and save them to help fix the next person’s device. If I took a broken Nikkor camera lens into a store in Australia they would laugh me out of the store if I asked them to repair it. “Repair ? You can’t repair a camera lens. They’re precision manufactured by machine. A human being couldn’t repair that, and even if they could, it would cost you more than the lens is worth new. Throw it away and buy a new one”. But I have had the same camera lens repaired from a completely useless state (I dropped my camera from more than 5 foot onto concrete in Malaysia) back to mint condition in both Vietnam and Thailand for a tiny FRACTION of what a new lens would cost. Mere pennies. Because when you have a large population who are desperate for work, and people who can’t afford to just throw things away – you don’t. You find someone who will spend all day fixing your shit, only to charge you $20 for their time. And they’ll be grateful for your business.
In Australia, a G4 iMac is quite a very rare item. Not all that many were sold because they were very expensive. But these days, noone wants them because they’re not that efficient as a computer. They are very slow at browsing the web and they can’t handle the latest Flash player that YouTube requires. My local rubbish dump has had dozens of them for sale for $5 each and noone even wants them. But in Asia, they are still heavily utilised. Ok so they may not play YouTube, but they make great Point of Sale terminals and they make AWESOME video screens for running video advertising. You can re-tool a beautiful old computer like an iMac to still be incredibly useful for certain tasks. And in some countries, they do. But in western societies, we just don’t. We throw them away at the dump and maybe if they are lucky… in six months time someone will buy one for $5, only to throw it away again when it doesn’t meet their expectations.
So that’s what I would write a song about. The way western culture and high wages have turned us into a throw-away society that doesn’t repair ANYTHING. Hell, we don’t even recycle it. It goes to the dump and ends up in land-fill. That’s something I feel passionate about. We don’t have an infinite supply of copper, or nickel or lithium in the world and we can’t just keep digging it up, sending it to China to make into TV’s and stereos and then use it in Australia or America for a year or two before throwing it away and burying it in the ground. RE-FUCKING-CYCLE it you idiots ! Strip the parts and RE-USE them !
But this post isn’t about my song. It’s about Jessie J’s “Price Tag” and Fat Cat’s “Is Being Pretty Everything ?” because they both have an important message saying “Hey, wake up guys. Money and beauty are not everything. There is more to life, and neither money nor beauty will bring you true happiness, so stop wishing for them all the time and being depressed if you don’t have them”.
I hope you enjoy both songs and think about what they mean (The Korean song has English subtitles) instead of just blindly humming along to the chorus. While they may be pop songs, they are pop songs that actually have some fucking MEANING for a change. They have a message that’s really important and that we all need to think about for once. So once more, enjoy both of these beautiful, heart-warming and thought-provoking songs.
And PS, to Fat Cat. I can see your true beauty. I can see your crying heart and if you’re not already taken, I’ll be on the next plane to Korea to show you how much I can appreciate your heart. ;”)
You’ve heard of the YouTube channel Epic Meal Time ? Well, it’s a show where they make really stupid, but really epic meals. Normally including about 2 kg of bacon strips in every meal. Well, today they’ve made “Candy Sushi”. This could give you a heart attack just watching it. Do not try this at home kids !
I did another episode of “Arggh My Head’s Stuck in SE Asia”. It’s an incredibly crappy one. YouTube blocked it because I used a song in it that the record company owned and had it pulled down… the bastards. And I lost my laptop so I didn’t have the original video so I had to re-download the blocked one and then re-edit it with a new song. Twice actually coz they blocked the second video as well even though both times I GOT the fucking video off YouTube in the first place ! Asshole record companies ! So I re-did it with a live song. That should be safe I think.
Anyway here’s the video.. I know it sucks but maybe you’ll enjoy it anyway.
I feel quite relieved about my decision to stay here permanently and not return home. Unfortunately I must accept that I’m not going to get to see Suki and I don’t want to see anyone else. I may look into having my cats flown here though.
That’s all I have to say.
Watch some video if you want. Or don’t. I don’t care.
Since I was talking about Michishige, let’s talk about something else Hello! Project related. It’s an OOOOOLLLLDDD video. I mean like 2004. Watch it first and then I’ll dissect it a bit.
First off, this is a great video. I mean it’s sheer choreography genius combined with one of Tsunku’s best happy, feel-good songs ever. And the fact that there’s 46 Jpop idols dancing in school uniforms doesn’t hurt.
Now at the time, when my wife asked, I used to say my favourite was Kago. Or Tsuji. Depending on my mood. Just because she liked them. Let’s look at them.
Jo preferred Kago, but I sorta preferred Tsuji coz she was so funny the way she was so addicted to food and would do anything for a food reward. They’d put her on gameshows and go “Tsuji, here’s a whole plate of cream cakes for you if you put on a stupid hat and wiggle through a tube on the ground with an egg under your chin and don’t break it”.
Tsuji would jump up and down with excitement at the thought of a big plate of cakes and she’d normally completely fail the mission and end up with egg all over her, and then start crying and they’d have to give her the cakes anyway to make her happy again. The funny thing about the pair was learning to tell them apart because they looked so bloody similar and Tsunku used to deliberately dress them and style them the same to take advantage of this. But there was an easy way. Wait till they smile. Tsuji’s the one with the huge vampire fangs, LOL !
Moving on to the next picture. Let’s look at who my real favourite was.
Iida. She’s the one on the left. Aahhh Iida was such a goddess. She played the “mature, reserved girl” who didn’t jump up and down and act like an idiot like the other girls. She was meant to appeal to guys who like the silent, bookish type. I normally like short girls the most, but every now and again people would put the sort of tall, shy girl that I liked into something. Iida into H!P, or Zakura into Tokyo Mew Mew or Sakaki in Azumanga Diaoh! She was also just really cool. I dunno why. She didn’t speak much but I always imagined she would be really smart. As it turned out when they were tested for academic ability she was sadly lacking, but I just try to block that out of my mind.
Next up let’s look at outfits. There’s something about this video that used to make me WTF 7 years ago when I first saw this video and still does it to me now.
Ok, The Hello! Project eggs are actually wearing pretty normal outfits right ? You sorta assume that coz they’re the youngest subgroup and so dorky and annoying that they’d be wearing something stupid. But surprisingly not. I’ll show you who is though.
What the hell ? Did Berryz Koubo have a wardrobe malfunction back in December 2004 ? Why are they wearing lumberjack outfits ? Someone please tell me what school this is supposed to be so that I can make sure none of my kids ever go there !
But who does the cutest pose in the clip ? Why, that’s easy.
It’s Michishige of course, living up to her motto of being ichiban kawaii. Trust her to do a neko pose.
It’s a good video. If you’re already a H!P fan you’re probably asking “Why are you reviewing a 7 year old video clip ?” Well, I dunno. Because I didn’t review it 7 years ago I guess ! Is there something wrong with that ? Better late than never and it’s still a great video and it sure takes me back to that time when I used to put that on the lounge room TV and sing along as I was working on my laptop.
Ahh, good times. Well, mostly. But you tend to focus on the best bits of history and ignore the bad bits hehe.
Ok, I did it. You all managed to convince me that if I wanted a real audience for my Asian music video reviews, that I had to stick a camera in front of my face and review them ON YouTube. So finally, when someone said it one more time, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak and I just went “Ok fine. I’ll throw something together to shut you up, but you won’t like it !”
Or at least, I figured I wouldn’t like it. I hate the sound of my recorded voice and I’m not really the coolest, most attractive person to be doing YouTube reviews. I mean, I’m no Ray William Johnson, right ? But I thought I’d give it a shot. I have wanted to make my own YouTube videos before (ie, ones that feature me rather than just video’s I’ve made of other things) but they’ve always turned out badly and I have never uploaded them, but this time. I’m not entirely disgusted by what I created.
It’s just a simple little review segment where I talk a bit of shit, crack some not-very-politically-correct jokes, and then show off some Asian music videos that I’ve found that I want to share with people. In this case, they’re just two amateur webcam videos of girls rapping. One Vietnamese and one Chinese.
I don’t have a proper video camera, nor do I have a second person to film me like many YouTubers do. And on this occasion, my Nikon D90′s battery was flat AND my Macbook Air was in the shop being repaired, so I had to resort to the built-in webcam on my Asus eeePc so the quality is very poor. But it’s a start. I’m not sure I’m ready for the trolls though. Trolls on YouTube are so BRUTAL. They can say the meanest, most horrible things sometimes, so that’s gonna be interesting to deal with. But anyway, enough talking. Just watch it and see what you think.
Is it alright ? Is it horrible ? I reckon it’s not bad for a first go. Later if people give me positive feedback, I’ll get an external mic and I’ll do the videos on the Nikon since it does nice 720p video, but for now. Take it as it comes. Enjoy !
Ok so I have a new favourite Korean Girl group. I’m not saying they’re going to supplant SNSD any time soon, but right now, I’m addicted to one of their songs.
It’s “Hug Me Once” by “Girl’s Day”, and I found it because Simon and Martina recommended it in their latest K Crunch episode that I actually reviewed yesterday ! So thanks Simon and Martina, but I have one bone to pick with you.
Why you be hatin’ on Girl’s Day ? I know you probably liked the song because you featured it in your review, or did you just review it because it was new and popular ? But you ripped on it so hard ! All throughout the video Simon is going “This is so absurd, it’s supposed to be a beach party but they never actually go to the beach. Blah Blah. Totally unrealistic. A girl goes swimming in the hotel pool fully clothed. Who does that ? Doesn’t she realise she’s doin’ it wrong ?”
Simon. Sometimes people go swimming fully clothed when they’re having fun and they DIDN’T BRING A BATHING SUIT ! It’s just fun sometimes. Try it one day. It won’t kill you. I’m pretty sure if the producers of that video thought they could appeal to people more by putting that girl in a bathing suit, they wouldda done it, amirite or amirite ?
It’s just bubbly girl dance pop. It doesn’t need a deep complex meaning in the video. It just needs girls dancing and doing really cute things. That’s the genre. You know that. Don’t rip on Girl’s Day because I love this song and this video too ! After only the second watch I was like “Yep. Love this. Don’t care what Simon and Martina say, there is NOTHING wrong with this video. It’s fun and I like it”.
So yeah, I know you just like to be funny and describing the cuteness of the video wasn’t really gonna be that entertaining to people so you had to pick on its flaws, but to be honest it wasn’t one of the videos I was gonna check out from your review, but once I did, I loved it !
I did also quite enjoy T-ara’s Roly Poly by the way. Definitely not my sort of music, but it’s cool anyway. Hard to believe it was made this decade though, LOL. It’d make a great AMV soundtrack I reckon. Hmmmmm.
Anyway, thanks for the review guys. If I was as inclined to put my ugly mug and boring voice in front of a camera, I’d love to do what you guys do, but I’ll stick to the written word for the time being. Maybe you can look out for my channel one day though. Oh snap, this is the second time I’ve reviewed your review. Damn. These things really feed off each other don’t they. Anyway, Hi ! And for all MY readers, here’s the full video of Girl’s Day’s “Hug Me Once”. Enjoy.
Ok, I just realised I’ve become a YouTube reviewer. I know. There’s a million people who do that, not to mention if you sit on Facebook or IRC or any forums, people will spam you with fucking YouTube links all day long. But most of them are absolute garbage and they are on all sorts of themes. I pretty much only post videos about Asian music and culture, so I have a theme. Therefore I should review YouTube videos that I like because other people who share my interests might then subscribe.
But most people who do that do it ON YouTube. They vlog, not blog. But I dunno if I want to do that. I’m not a big fan of the sound of my recorded voice. I hate it actually. I’m better with the written word. And besides. I mean, if you could watch either Ray William Johnson (The most subscribed to YouTuber in the world, and current Guinness World Record holder for that accomplishment) or me.. who would you watch ? You’d watch Ray, amirite ?
I know a great American couple who do two series of videos about Korea. One about the crazy things they sell in the shops there that make you go “WTF ?!” and another in which they review the latest Kpop that they’ve heard. They’re both full-blooded Americans. They just happen to have ended up in Korea and they want to tell everyone what a great place it is. Their show is called “Eat Your Kimchi” and their channel is called simonandmartina and if you enjoy Korean culture and music, I recommend you check them out because they’re a really funny pair and I always enjoy their videos. Here’s a recent “WTF” episode they did which typifies what they do.
And here is one of their Kpop review videos.
Since I’ve now put you onto them, I will try not to review anything they review, but I can’t promise because they review some great stuff and they really know how to find the weird stuff since they actually live there (the lucky buggers).
One problem with finding music videos from Asian countries is that you just don’t know what to look for. You can’t just go to Youtube and say “Show me some wacky Kpop vids YouTube plzthxkgo”. Watching a show like Eat Your Kimchi definitely helps, but there is another good way to find stuff. It’s an “aww duh” thing if you are seasoned YouTuber, but I’m not and I only recently started doing this. If you somehow stumble onto a music video that you like, don’t just check out the uploader’s channel.
Check out their profile and see who else subscribes to them, because you can find a lot of links to other great small channels by people who are into this music, and if you subscribe to them and tell YouTube to notify you of uploads, then in a matter of days, your email box will be filled with bubbly Kpop or Jpop of Vpop or Cpop videos or whatever you happen to be into.
Here’s something I stumbled across. I wanted a particular Vpop song that I’d heard a couple of months ago and I couldn’t remember the group’s name, and I couldn’t find it in my history, and so I was aimlessly searching, hoping I could find it, when I came across this. Just watch it and I’ll explain it afterwards. It’s called “Cute Viet Girl Rap – I love you mama” but sadly the girl is not credited by name.
Yeah ? Yeah ? You fucking FEEL ME ? How good was THAT ?! Is your mind blown ? Did you have to pick you jaw up off the floor ? How fucking KICKASS was that ? I know lots of people who read my blog are like “Fuck that Asian pop music, I’m not into that”, but if you just watched that video, you were fucking impressed. Admit it. I bet half of you even pasted that video’s URL onto IRC or Facebook or something didn’t you ? (If you don’t know how to, click the YouTube icon down the bottom right and it’ll open the video on YouTube’s site)
The guy actually had another video on his channel called (once translated) “Hot girl cute ears dancing to Wonder Girls”. Well, I can’t not click on that now, can I ? Ok Ok, You don’t want to see ANOTHER Wonder Girls fan video ? Oh, but believe me. You do.
All I could think throughout this video was “Either her parents own a costume shop, or she has a worrying hobby and a lot of spare time”. Can I level with you for a second on what else I thought ? “Wow, imagine being her boyfriend and just being able to say ‘Ok, tonight can you wear the pink nurse’s outfit ?’ and ‘Will you be the police woman tonight ?’ and ‘You look good as a schoolgirl in a sailor suit’”. Yes, I know. I have a filthy mind. But she’s just so cute and funny in these outfits I couldn’t help but think “Wow. I bet she would be fun in the bedroom with those”.
Ok, Ok, I’ll shut up. I have girls reading this blog, they’ll be facepalming and going “Oh pawz you idiot, shut your mouth quickly”. So anyway, after that, let’s move back onto my new most favourite subject – Teenage Asian girl rap music. I stumbled across this great Chinese girl rapping as well !
Man, at 2:04 when she says “Yo Yo” and goes into that next verse, I could not fucking stop myself. I was bouncing. I was sitting there nodding my head and bouncing up and down, that’s how good she was. By the end of that song I was just in rapture, bouncing along listening to her amazing voice. Eat your heart out Eminem. This girl gets me pumping more than your songs do. Apparently Mandarin is a great language to rap in.
I realise that I don’t really talk about Cpop do I ? Why not ? I love Cpop too sometimes, I just don’t have any favourite singers or groups that I can think of. But let’s remedy that. Let’s share some Cpop with you. I found a guy called skyming2008 who has on his channel a bunch of amateur fan videos of teenage girls singing on webcams. Most are fairly “meh” to be honest, but here’s a good one that I liked. The girl may look like 11, but if you read the description, it says she is 19 and comes from Sichuan.
“But Paaaawwwwwzzzz”, I hear you saying. “I love all this new Kpop and Vpop and Cpop you’re showing us, but you haven’t talked about Jpop in SSSOOOO long ! You used to talk about Jpop all the time and now you don’t. Don’t you love it any more ? Prove it. Show us some Jpop girl group. And can you make it so they dance around in frilly pink outfits wearing rabbit ears and gigantic floppy socks ?”
Of course I can. Have you no faith in me ? But you know what ? I’m gonna go back for the oldschool. I’m gonna show you Morning Musume. This isn’t actually a video I’ve seen before because it’s from only 2009 which is when I had recently broken up with my MoMusu-obsessed wife and I was taking a break from listening to them, so I missed this song’s release. *Shock* *Horror*. I know. Anyway, this is Morning Musume, with “Kimagure Princess”.
It’s also the last single that ever featured Koharu Kusumi. Oh my god. It was just like YESTERDAY that I remember seeing her audition as a toothy little 13 year old and jump up and down excitedly when she was selected. Jo and I sorta hated her. She was a stupid little bitch, and she was always trying to steal the limelight from Sayumi Michishige, who was our favourite and she became Sayumi’s rival, so I was never able to really like Koharu. You know. The rules of Jpop idol fandom are complicated like that.
But even though I thought she was a smartarse little bitch who thought she was god’s gift to the idol scene, I will miss her. Someone actually pasted a “demotivational poster” image (you know, a Lolcat style poster) that had her as the picture and some smartarsed comment about Japanese girls being cute or something and I was like “Oh, I know who that is ! That’s Koharu from Morning Musume” and the guy went “Trust you to know the name of a random Japanese girl on a poster. I bet you know her blood type too don’t you ?”
“Know her blood type? As I would know her blood type”, I scoffed. “Ok, she’s type A just like Sayumi Michishige”. I can imagine this guy facepalming on the other side of the world. He just says “You’re creepy”.
Whaaat ? I am not. Blood type is very important in Japan and is considered to be a far more important indicator of your personality type than your horoscope. Which is curious, but I do admit, I like the idea that you could determine someone’s personality from their blood type rather than the random moment on which they chanced to be born. And Jpop idols all tell you their blood type. It’s on their official fan website. I’m not creepy. Fuck you. There’s nothing weird about wanting to know a 13 year old Japanese girl’s blood type when you see her audition for a place in a pop group. Is there ?
Did I just hear someone says “But pawz, before you finish this lengthy Asian music revue, could we maybe just see one more cute kid singing Wonder Girls ? Something even more insanely cute and funny than you’ve shown us before ? Is that humanly possible ?”
No. I doubt it. That would require Koreans to have like a TV show where they did shit like let 4 year old kids on stage to dance to a whole medley of Wonder Girls songs. They wouldn’t do that. Koreans aren’t like that. Oh wait ? They are ? Ok, sure, let’s see it then.
Man, at 3:06 when she’s talking to the host and she goes “Unnh ! Unnh !”, I honestly could not stop laughing for ages. How damn cute is that kid ? But I think you’re probably thinking something like “There ARE other countries in Asia you know pawz ? Ahem. Where’s the damn Fpop ? You haven’t shown me any Filipino girls. Don’t you like them ?”
Get off my case. Ok. Here’s one.
Ok so I lied. That wasn’t Fpop at all was it. But it did feature a Filipino girl at least. It was sorta creepy though wasn’t it ? It doesn’t seem that odd to see a pre-teen girl dancing to the Wonder Girls in front of their dad and the video camera, but suddenly when they do it to the Black Eyed Peas you’re like “Ohh. Should I be watching this ? I sorta feel this should be the sorta thing you get on a dodgy Russian website after handing over your credit card number”.
It’s just maybe there’s a line, and maaaayyybe that parent crossed it. That’s all I’m sayin’. But back to the music. I know what some of you girls are saying. “Hey, pawz. You’re only reviewing videos of girls. That’s a bit sexist. I know you like girls and all, but I thought this was a music and YouTube review and not a soft porn festival. How about something to appeal to the girls ?”
Hmmmm, I admit, you do have a point. So some boy bands would please you ? How about Kpop group Blaq with their hit “Mona Lisa” ?
That’s alright isn’t it ? I don’t mind the music, and the music and lyrics are catchy, except for at 2:40 they all start screaming loudly in this high pitched tone and I’m like “Wow, do you boys even HAVE balls ?” Yeah I don’t like that bit. The rest is ok.
And 2PM are pretty cool. Everyone loves them. Even my 18 year old Vietnamese friend Gau last night said he liked 2PM, but to be perfectly honest, I think there IS a good chance that Gau is gonna grow up to be a lady boy. He just has that vibe. I’m telling you. When he sings Wondergirls songs and dances, he looks pretty damn gay. Unlike me. I mean. When I do it, that’s cool. What ? It is. Here’s 2PM’s hit “Hands Up”.
“Wait pawz, can you recommend me some Asian music that ISN’T going to make everyone around me question my heterosexuality when they catch me listing to it please ?”
OOOH, sorry. Yeah. Sometimes I get carried away with the cheesy pop music. Let me fix that situation for you. Let’s just jump on a plane and fly back to Kanagawa in Japan to listen Rip Slyme. They’re a great Jhiphop group that I’ve been into for many years and they’re not bouncy and silly and cheesy. They’re actually really, really good, melodic, mellow hiphop. Really fucking good tunes. If you like this track, I recommend you look them up and download some of their music. They are a brilliant hiphop group and their shit is all as beautiful as that, and also sometimes a bit funkier and livelier. Check them out.
“Hey pawz. Didn’t you promise us some music from the Philippines ? What happened with that. All you showed us was a dubious fan video of a Filipino girl. That’s not Fpop”.
Shit, you got me. How about Frock ? That sounds a bit like a dirty word doesn’t it ? Or a phrase that could be badly interpreted at a friend’s house.
“Let’s put on some Frock !”
“Yeah good idea. One second, I’ll do that. BRB”
“What the fuck. Why are you wearing a dress ?”
“But I thought you said … Oh. Nevermind”
Sorry, I’ll shut up and put on the Frock, but I warn you. You’re not going to believe this is from the Philippines. You’re gonna think it’s American pop rock. Not to say it’s bad, it just doesn’t sound like traditional Filipino music.
“Got any other countries to show us ? How about an Indonesian duet ? I bet you subscribe to lots of channels that post cheesy Indonesian love songs don’t you ?”
Oh piss off. You’re just making fun of me now. What’s that ? “Just answer the question ?” you say. Oh ok. I do. Screw you. Here’s Ari Lasso & Bunga C. Lestari singing “Aku Dan Dirimu”. It’s a good song. A little soppy and cheesy, but I found this one some time ago and it’s a cute love song. I can imagine a guy and a girl going on a date together at a cafe in down-town Jakarta when this came out in 2008 and this comes on the radio and they smile at each other shyly and both admit they quite like this song. You know it’d happen.
“But Indonesians must have cool music as well right ? If I got caught listening to that I think I’d die inside a little”
Yeah, I know what you’re saying. They do though. Check out Nidjiri with their song “Biarlah”. They sorta blow my mind a bit. They’re pretty awesome.
“Ok pawz. That was a cool trip around South East Asia. But that’s nearly two dozen videos. I’ve had enough. But it was fun. What are you going to show us next time ?”
I dunno. Something you’ve probably never heard of before. Definitely something cool. Because I only review cool music and cool videos. If you don’t agree it’s just because you have shitty taste.
So how was my first official YouTube review for you ? Did you enjoy it ? Am I the next Ray William Johnson, but in text form ? No ? Fuck you. I might be. Someone must like my shit. Seriously. Anyone ? Does anyone like the shit I review ? To steal Ray’s line for a minute, put your answers in the comment section … beeeellllooowwww.
Oh and not that you’re likely to be reading, because you’re a busy internet celebrity, but if you are because you saw a trackback when I linked to your channel or something then… Hi Ray ! I’m stalkin’ yo mom !
Until next time folks. This is Pawz “Molly Meldrum in SE Asia” Lion. Enjoy your Asian music and I’ll talk to you again soon ! Ja ne !
