Raving and Drooling – A lion’s tail

I wasn’t initially going to post this here. I was thinking about moving my blog to a new location so that people like my ex-wife (and I use that term figuratively rather than literally) couldn’t read it, but you know what ? I Just. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. I know what you’re doing Jo. You’re saving all this shit so that you can maybe use it against me in court when we finally have a custody battle over Suki. Don’t give a fuck. It won’t work. But keep reading anyway.

I’m in Malaysia. I’ve been here for a week. Tomorrow I’m leaving and heading up north to Thailand. After that it’s really anyone’s guess where I’ll end up. I’m just going where the wind takes me. I’ve been buying tonnes of great stuff. Kpop, Jpop, Dramas, Anime etc. I bought “It Started With a Kiss” and “Queen’s Classroom” and “Densha Otoko” and I’ve bought Morning Musume DVD’s as well as SNSD, Girl’s Day, Kara, T-ara, After School and others. Tonight, I’m going out to see a Korean pop concert. FT Island are playing at Negara Stadium in Kuala Lumpur and I’m going to be there.

I know you pretend not to care Jo, and I’m sure you take very little interest in Jpop these days, though I know you are still semi-active on the Hello-Online forums. But you’re still fucking jealous I bet hahaha. Seeing awesome Asian pop idols in concert… live… right in front of you. Getting back stage with them etc. Hahahaha.

I’m still buying stuff for Suki. I have cute hand mirrors and clothes and phone charms and toys. Even if I can’t give them to her right now and she’s way outgrown them when she finally gets them, at least she will know I was thinking about her all this time. And you know what ? When she realises that you refused to even let me give this stuff to her, she’s going to fucking despise you. She’s going to think you are the biggest cunt who ever walked the earth for refusing to let me send her a laptop and chat to me, or for refusing to let me give her the nearly hundreds of outfits I’ve bought for her. But good luck dealing with that one day !

Anyway to show you how much I don’t give a fuck, here’s the address of my new blog, where I am writing all my travel stories. Enjoy !

http://stuckinsoutheast.asia

And here’s a photo of some of the stuff I’ve bought both for me and for Suki. (Yes those really are Gucci and Burberry dresses !)

You know I write a lot right. And I have many websites. But on this one alone, I have recently surpassed the half a million word mark. That’s around two and a half thousand pages in paperback form, or 50% larger than Tolstoy’s epic three-volume War and Peace.

Just sayin’. :”)

Wow. Just wow.

Firstly, since we normally refer to Makoto’s first anime as “Voices” and that’s the main word in this one, I’m going to use a different name to refer to this one, so I’m going to call it “Deep Below”. Now the translated name is a bit odd. “Hoshi” means star, “kodomo” children, and “ou” means “to chase”, so really, you would think the title should be translated to “Children who chase the stars”, but that’s not what it’s been translated to. I don’t know if Makoto-san is responsible for this or it’s a decision from his publisher. I’d prefer to think the latter, but to be honest it’s a beautiful name, and far more relevant to the story.

Makoto Shinkai has not released an anime in four years, and I’ve been simply dying for his next story. I used to be (and still am, to some extent) a huge Miyazaki fan for his amazing, creative and innocent stories of fantasies and far away worlds, but when Makoto released “Voices from a Distant Star” in 2002 after rendering the entire thing at home on his G4 iMac, my world changed. There was a new kami-sama of storytelling, who’s vision and attention to detail and AMAZING animation skills blew me away. Not to mention his passion for stories about loss and emotional distance. So when I first heard about Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo in around 2010, I waited with bated breath. I mean my heart ACHED for a new Makoto movie.

I downloaded it a couple of days ago (it’s not available to buy here yet, but you can be sure I will be first in line to purchase it) but I just wasn’t ready to watch it yet. I had to be prepared. All his other movies have just torn me limb from limb, emotionally speaking. Voices was just so heartbreaking. Places Promised was just so beautiful and moving, and 5cm Per Second ? Well. I think I must have cried for three days solid after seeing that, and no matter how many times I watch it, It always leaves me feeling agonised and sorrowful and like someone has just torn my still-beating heart out of my chest. So it was with a great deal of anticipation that I prepared to watch Deep Below.

I fired it up on my laptop, and less than 5 seconds in, I gasped at the stunning beauty. I immediately stopped it. This was a movie that did not deserve to be watched on a 13″ laptop screen. I needed to wait until morning and view it on my 50″ plasma. When I started it, I called my mum in and said “Have a look at this”. She watched the first scene where Asuna runs down the path and across the rail bridge which is nothing short of stunning. The way the shadow and the rays of light play across the scene and the way the sun glimmers across the water far below and beautiful clouds drift across the sky cannot fail to impress, and my mother was as moved as I was, referring to it as “incredible”.

This is a movie I won’t spoil for you at all, and in fact, I won’t even describe the plot, because you just don’t know what this story is about when it begins. There are no cliches in this movie. It is truly beautiful and original. I will say that is about two people; a girl and her school teacher, who set off for a journey to an underground world to bring back to life the people they have lost. A character later in the movie says “Everyone set out on their journey as a heartfelt cry for help”. It is a well-meaning story of loss and naievete. Earlier, Asuna says “This is not where I belong. There is a place I’ve never seen before”. You may think you know how it’s going to turn out, but you’re probably wrong.

It’s not that the story is surprising, it’s just that fails to adhere to the typical cliches you might expect such a movie to follow. But at the same time, it’s not hard to see a little bit of Nausicaa or Laputa, a little bit of Grave of the Fireflies, some Totoro and a healthy splash of Princess Mononoke in this movie. Not because Makoto is copying these movies, but because things such as spirits and demons, totem animals, and gods of life and death are common themes in Japanese storytelling.

One of the things that surprised me a little is that there is not a heart-wrenching scene that leaves you feeling hollow and lost at the end of this movie. It is not 5cm Per Second at all. It is a story of adventure and innocence, not a story of tradgey and sorrow. In fact, the ending is very happy and upbeat despite the fact that none of them find what they are looking for. This is a story you can happily show your children without fear of upsetting them, but of course at the same time, it is so beautiful and deep that noone could ever call it a mere children’s story. I did have tears in my eyes throughout the movie many times, but I am a very emotional person and sadness and happiness and love move me greatly. Ultimately, the story is very simple in theme. There are so many things you think could have happened, characters you think should have played a bigger part, but they don’t.

This story is beautiful, but uncomplicated. It’s deep, but it’s not a mind-fuck. It’s not surreal like Mononoke and thankfully it’s certainly not 5cm per second, even though it is still very much a story of letting go of the past. It’s still a story about distance and loss, but these themes are toned down and just serve as the characters’ motivation rather than some moral that’s being rammed down your throat. If anything, the story is more like Miyazaki’s Totoro than any of Makoto’s other works. It’s facile, elegant and touching. It’s sweet. Yes, I was expecting and even hoping for a heart-wrenching tear-jerker that almost made me give up on life, but I’m also glad that Makoto has not gone this way with Deep Below as it makes it more accessible for new fans and is a light and refreshing story to add to his library.

Deep Below will probably never be looked at the same way as Voices or 5cm, and bears far more similarities to Places Promised, which is a story about sadness and loss, but also a story about adventure and closure, and that is the same theme we find in Deep Below. It is definitely a story of innocence, adventure and closure, even though it still has Makoto written all over it. While the ending is good, it could so easily have wrapped everything up with a little bow in a Disney-like fashion and shown how they all go back to their lives happier, but it chooses not to. There is no journey home from the underworld. The story ends quite suddenly when the resolution is reached with just a brief look at Asuna returning to school and then the credits roll with just a couple of still pictures of simple moments during the film.

Was it what I was expecting ? No. Was it stunningly beautiful in terms of both animation and story ? Absolutely. This is essential Makoto, and canonical anime as far as I’m concerned and I truly hope I have the chance to see it at the cinema with someone I care about so that I can share the experience with them. I think it’s important to be warned that this movie is not like Voices or 5cm and if you go into it expecting it to be, you could be a little disappointed, but it is most definitely the single most stunningly beautiful anime (beating 5cm by a tiny margin) in visual terms that I have ever seen and has a cohesive, simple, but uniquely Japanese story. If I gave numerical ratings anime, you could be sure that Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo would receive my highest praise.

OMG, seriously ? You’re going to talk about Gee again ?

Yes, I am. I actually hang out in an SNSD chatroom on IRC, so believe it or not, I still talk about Gee a lot, even though I swear I don’t listen to it EVERY day like I used to (maybe every third day now). So here it is. Another video of someone performing Gee, while she’s working in a convenience store in Korea. Not only is this funny (especially when she keeps gets caught and has to start over) and cute and well done. But oh my GOD is she sexy. Watch it. I’m not fucking kidding right ? She is… well… WOW ! Seriously, when God was making Korean girls, he really spent a liiiiiitle bit longer making them EXTRA HOT, didn’t he ? I swear, I’m not a sexist perve (much), and I have never been to a strip club or anything, but Christ. How do girls GET that hot looking ? Ok. I’ll shut up now and let you watch the video.

People like cute stuff, right ? Everyone likes a girl looking kawaii, especially if they’re Asian. Well, let’s try and show my vague knowledge of East Asian fasion culture and see how badly I can embarass myself.

So where do these kawaii looks come from ?

Well, most people who have had any passing interest in Japanese culture or anime are probably familiar with the “Lolita” look. It’s a popular look that is very cute and very out there (to foreigners at least). It originated in the 70′s but was really popular during the 90′s and I guess is still popular today among a certain subculture. The Lolita look has many variations centering around old style Victorian clothing with long dresses and frills.

The most famous is “Goth Lolita” where the girl dresses in all black dresses, often with white lace trims, but otherwise goes for a very black look. “Sweet Lolita” or “Classic Lolita” is the pink or brightly coloured pastel version of this and is also downright adorable. There is also “Kuro” (black) or “Shiro” (white) Lolita which represents the colour of the clothes. What’s the difference between Gothic Lolita and Kuro Lolita ? Well, Kuro is more toned down. It probably has less frills and is less fancy.

Other styles include “Princess Lolita” (often featuring royal-like jewellery), “Sailor Lolita” (as in sailor-style outfits), “Pirate Lolita” (no seriously, I’m not making this up), “Country Lolita” (for that “just rolled in the hay” look) and various others.

What other looks are there ? Well, on the less extreme side of things, one popular look in Japan is the Gyaru look, sometimes called “Ganguro”, although that look is actually slightly different and often focuses around the use of bleached blonde hair and fake tan, where as Gyaru itself is more about a sort of “glam rock” style. It may involve jeans or short shorts, lots of makeup, possibly shiny clothes and glitter and such.

How about school uniforms ? Japanese school uniforms are considered so damn kawaii, that many girls choose to wear them not just out of school, but after they’ve finished school. This look is known as Kogyaru, although I don’t really know why it’s considered related to Gyaru because I don’t see the similarity. Kogyaru typically involves either real or stylised school uniforms, oversized loose socks, leather platform shoes with big shiny buckles or plain loafer style shoes, and of course cute, childish accessories like backpacks and purses and hair ribbons.

This is a cute look, but it’s possible you might get some odd looks if you’re a middle aged guy going out with a girl dressed in Kogyaru ! Also, Kogyrus are often looked down on because they are thought to be selfish, spoilt kids who often make money from enjo kosai, the art of compensated dating whereby girls will date much older guys in return for high fashion clothing or money. How often this includes prostitution is debatable, but I’d like to think that that aspect of it is just hyped up and that most girls into enjo kosai don’t sleep with the guys they date. I guess there is an obsession among older guys for that schoolgirl fetish. Perhaps they shouldn’t make Asian school uniforms so damn cute if they don’t want guys to be attracted to them ? Just sayin’. Kogyrus have featured in various Japanese movies, and in the western world they famously appear in Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” part 1.

Anyway, back on track. That’s most of the fashion styles I’m into, but there are others which I won’t cover. I will just touch on one Korean style though. Ulzzang is a style and also sometimes an activity. It’s similar to the Japanese style of Gyaru, but really focusses just on the facial look more than anything. It involves heavy, heavy amounts of eye make-up to make the girls look like they have huge eyes, circle contacts to make them look like they have big irises etc, and certain hairstyles and makeup styles as well.

Ulzzangs often spend a great deal of time preparing their look, often not even to go out. They just take photos of themselves for their myspace or facebook pages. The stereotypical Ulzzang photo is always an ultra-closeup from a bizarre angle, showing off their crazy big eyes. This look can freak people out a bit and some people are critical about it being “too fake” and the people who use it being try-hards. Look, the eyes are a very important part of a girl’s look, and Asians have such beautiful and varied eyes depending on where they come from so it’s natural they would try and enhance them. Personally I’m not a huge fan of excessive makeup, so the Ulzzang look isn’t really something I’m that into, but if done moderately I think it can be very pretty.

Before I finish, I’d just like to bring up a Korean word you might not know. You’re probably familiar with “Kawaii” right ? It literally means “cute” in Japanese, but more commonly means “omg that is SO DAMN CUTE I can’t believe it” when people say it, especially if they drag out the “w” and “i” sounds. Well, how about “Aegyo” ? Have you heard of that ? Aegyo is to act or play cute. Specifically it normally means to pull a cute face. It’s a Korean word, so it was really meant to describe a Korean look, but of course you could just as easily say that many Jpop stars pull Aegyo as well, they just don’t call it that. So if a Korean girl is pulling a cute face at you, be it pouty or coy or just sweet, tell her she has a nice Aegyo. And if you’re a girl, practice your Aegyo at home. You can even find tutorials for it on YouTube !

That’s by no mean a definitive explanation of East Asian fashion, but it explains a few popular types that I’m aware of, and hopefully I haven’t completely screwed them up and misrepresented them. If you want to see such cool fashion, well, you can go online I guess, but really, you need to get yourself to the Harajuku area in Tokyo, so named after the train station. “Harajuku style” is famous in Japan, and encompasses all the styles previously mentioned, especially Kogyaru and Lolita styles. Shibuya is also a popular area where this sort of crazy fashion runs rampant and is the home of Gyaru and Kogyaru, and there is one famous department store there called “109″ across from Shibuya train station that specialises in Gyaru and Kogyaru clothing, so you can expect to see LOTS of girls running around with eye makeup on and school uniform style clothing with loose socks. Sounds pretty cool, right ? Hopefully I’ll be there in a few months time and I can take pictures for you !

This song was recently subbed and uploaded to YouTube, and for once I am really, really glad that it was subtitled. Normally I appreciate foreign music just for the melody and the singing and not the lyrics and I’m more than happy to not know what the lyrics mean, but in this case, it’s important. I have never heard of “Fat Cat” before, but this song of hers has an important message. Here’s a snippet of the main versus, translated into English.

Men are all the same these days. They only like pretty faces.
Why is every single guy like that ?
Other parts of me are prettier, but they’re not parts that can be seen.
And everyone says that I am ugly.
I want to be in love now. I want to be obviously in love.
I want an honest person.
Is being pretty everything ? Do you only look at the outer image ?
Please stop now and look at my heart.
Am I good for nothing ? Am I that unworthy ?
That’s so not cool. Look at my heart.
Do pretty faces feed you? They become the same after a month.
Why, why are guys like this ?
“It’s always the ugly ones who complain more”.
Jerks who say that, please piss off.
The outside and inside aren’t always the same.
I want to be in love now. I want to be obviously in love.
I want a person who will only care for me.
Is being pretty everything ? Do you only look at the outer image ?
Please stop now and look at my heart.
Am I good for nothing ? Am I that unworthy ?
That’s so not cool. Look at my heart.

Fat Cat, you have a point. I am such a sucker for a pretty face, but I know how you feel. I’m not some stunning person who turns heads either, and I feel the same way when I get overlooked by girls who aren’t interested just because I’m not handsome enough. That’s so not cool. Look at my heart.

I take pretty regular backups of all my sites. But while I did a backup just before new years, for some reason only my database was backed up. Everything else stopped being backed up in October. So while the stories I posted are all here, any images or files uploaded since October are gone.

FUUUUUUUUUUU !!!

So annoyed. I’ve done so much work lately. Not really on this site, but on others. And it’s gone. All of it. Fucking gone. How did this happen ? I just don’t know. My hand-written script is supposed to analyse each site and only back it up if changes have been made. But I guess something happened to my date stamps back in October, because only the database was backed up. GODDAMIT.

Oh well. Anyway, if you notice some images missing from the previous posts, well, now you know why. Sorry ! Shit happens hey. I’ve also had some downtime for the last week as I had to move my server from Perth to Los Angeles because my current provider were just failing me miserably. GOMEN NASAI !

I wanted my bot to announce web page and YouTube page urls, because one of my pet hates is people pasting a link to a YouTube video without explaining what it is or giving it a title, which wastes my precious time. I wanted it for an eggdrop bot since I already had one of those running in this channel, but when I looked I couldn’t find anything that would both announce them, and log them to a mysql database for displaying on a web page.

So I grabbed Durby, which is a mod of Pickachu, fixed some problem in it that I thought were unsuitable, and modded in some MySQL functions. Thus was born the Pikachu YouTube URL Title Announcer eggdrop tcl script.

You will need to have TCLLib 1.13 installed as well as MYSQLTcl 3.0 to use it.

To configure it, just edit both the Pikachu tcl and index.php (after moving it and the css and gif files to your webroot) and put in the appropriate MySQL settings.

The web interface provide is quite basic. If you make something nicer, please drop me an email at pawz@teamroot.net so I can see what you’ve made, thanks.

Download version 1.0 here.

So, this isn’t really specifically about the Sunrise program on 7, but they happen to be one of the offenders of this crime who particularly annoy me. It’s something that annoys me a lot. Shows like Sunrise like to act all high and mighty by saying “We’ve got a donation line where you can ring in and make donations” so that everyone thinks they’re awesome. But how easy IS it to donate ?

Well this morning they had a story on about how a charity in Logan had been ram-raided and thieves had stolen piles of food bound for needy families this Christmas, and the thieves basically destroyed the freezers and ruined much of the food they didn’t take, meaning the annual Christmas party the charity hosts for disadvantaged families would struggle to go ahead.

I felt sorta bad about that and I thought to myself “I don’t have a lot of money, but I’d donate five bucks to that. If everyone else did too, they’d have plenty of money to host that event”. Sunrise proudly exclaimed “Go to our website to donate”.

Dutifully, I grabbed my tablet and opened up the website, and scanned the page for some time looking for the link, which was not prominent in any way, and buried in some obscurely named story title, when it should have been a big button on the front page. When I finally found it and clicked on it, it took me to a page which just said “Call this Brisbane number between 10am-2pm Monday to Friday”.

What ? I have to wait until 10am ? And then call a phone number and wait on hold and then give them my credit card details ? Are you fucking MAD ?! Where’s the PayPal link ? Where’s the Flatr link ? Don’t you realise how hard you’re making it for people to donate ?

Apart from the fact that the show aired at 7am and the donation line isn’t open until 10am when everyone is at work and will have long forgotten about the story, the fact is, I don’t want to ring up and talk to someone. It’s uncomfortable. I just want to give money quietly and anonymously without speaking to anyone via a simple click. Plus, speaking to a real person makes you feel guilty about donating a small amount. You might feel pressured to donate more than you intended.

If they had a PayPal link with some fixed donation denominations (as well as an optional way to choose your own) they could just say “Ok we’re taking donations. Everyone grab your iPadz and go to our site and click the button to donate $5″ … and it would be EASY… and QUICK. People wouldn’t have to think… they wouldn’t have to sit there with their reading glasses on holding their stupid fucking credit card up to the light at weird angles to try and read the numbers on it.

If it was EASY and QUICK, everyone would do it. You would think “I’m going to spent that much on the way to work getting coffee. That’s nothing. I’ll click that button”. You people need to understand… the easier you make payment and the less though required behind it, the more readily people will give you money. Apple know this and that’s why the iTunes and App stores are so damn successful, because it’s easy as hell and you just need to tap one button and instantly the funds are transferred.

Well gaiz, you can act all fucking high and mighty and pretend you’re doing some good by putting a goddamn phone number on your website, but until you’re going to a minute’s extra effort and putting up some sort of proper electronic, online payment link on your site… you’re not really trying and I’m simply not going to wait until 10am and sit on hold to read some bitch my credit card number, which means I’m not going to donate, which is a shame because it would have been a worthwhile cause.

You know.. I was at the pub the other day and I had to pay for a domain through a registrar that I don’t always use. Now my normal registrar takes PayPal, but this one didn’t. Which means I would have had to get my wallet out of my back pocket and sit there holding my stupid fucking credit card up to the light for five minutes trying to read the unreadable fucking numbers, just to make a $10 payment. Now, it’s annoying enough getting your thick-assed wallet in and out of your pocket to pay for your beer. I’m simply NOT going to do it for online shit. You either accept PayPal, or you can go fuck yourself. I moved that domain away to a new registrar simply because it shits me to tears to have to pull my credit card out and enter a zillion fucking numbers and dates and CCV’s and name and address and shit.

ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING ? This shit applies to all you people. Breakfast shows, charity organisations, even people trying to sell stuff online. MAKE PAYMENT EASIER. MAKE IT QUICK AND PAINLESS. OTHERWISE I’M JUST NOT GOING TO PAY YOU. UNDERSTAND ?

Why has this article been so long coming ? Well, I was busy and on a high and having fun and I kept putting off writing it. Also then I had laptop problems and I ended up losing my linux partition which had the story I’d written offline on it. Arrrgh. I should know better than to write things offline as they always get buried and eventually lost !

So here’s the brief version of how the Kpop Festival went, before I forget all the details.

When I heard about it, I had just gotten into work and unpacked and connected and a friend on IRC mentioned he was seeing SNSD “tomorrow night” and I said “Wow awesome. Where are you ?”, thinking he must be in Seoul or something, and he goes “Sydney” and I said “What ? SNSD are coming to Sydney ? Tomorrow ?!?!” and he confirmed and linked me to the event’s website, which showed that as well as SNSD, Kara, Sistar, 4 Minute, Miss A, Secret, and Shinee, TVXQ, MBlaq, CNBlue, 2AM and B2ST were also coming. Now I actually know almost all of those groups. I hadn’t heard MBlaq, TVXQ, CNBlue and I wasn’t real familiar with Miss A or Secret, but I knew the others intimately as some of my favourite Kpop groups. I was THERE. I bought my ticket without thinking. I looked at the $85 regular seating tickets and then at the $300 front-of-stage standing room moshpit tickets and asked my friend what he was doing. “Front of stage of course” he said. I quickly purchased my $300 front stage ticket before even working out how I was going to get to Sydney.

People started talking about whether they could take photos and someone said that as long as it wasn’t a professional camera you were allowed to take photos in the audience. I hrmmmed and thought “I wonder if I could get special permission as a journalist to take photos ?”, so I looked up the company hosting the event, JP Entertainment, and I rang the number on their website. It was disconnected. Not discouraged, I looked them up in the Sydney White Pages and found a listing in residential Sydney. I rang the number and an Asian woman answered. I knew the owner of the company was James Xian, so I asked “Hi I was wondering if I can talk to James or someone about getting press access to take photos at the Kpop concert tomorrow ?”

The woman said “You’ve rung his home number. I can give you another number for him, but he’s probably at the venue preparing, who is this again ?” and I told her and said that I write an “Asian music review site on the internet”. What ? I do, right ? She said “I’ll give you his mobile number”. I rang the number and James answered and I repeated what I wanted and who I was and he said “Well, it’s a little bit late. Are you into Kpop ?” and I said “Oh hell yeah. When I heard SNSD was performing in Sydney I had to be there no questions asked, and I wanted to know if I could take some photos for my site”. “I’ll ring my marketing people and give them your number,” he said. “You should hear from them within a couple of hours”.

I waited, but by 4pm hadn’t heard anything, so I rang James back and he said “Look just turn up at the venue at midday and come and find me or someone at the JP Entertainment marquee and they’ll sort you out”. Woohoo ! I thought. But that meant I had to leave Hervey Bay really early and I knew that booking an early plane on a Saturday morning from Hervey Bay to Sydney at the last minute was gonna be really expensive. It was. $500 if I wanted to get in by midday, and the only plane getting in earlier was already booked out. I quickly paid before the price went up further or tickets ran out. I wasn’t going to arrive late and miss the chance to maybe get some sort of press access to photograph SNSD. I booked it.

I headed off to the airport at 5 in the morning with no luggage but lots of laptop and camera bags slung over my shoulders, much to Qantas’ dismay with their “one carry on bag” rule, which I questioned since I only had very small bags, and fortunately they let it slide. I was amused to find I still had mobile reception from time to time on the flight down to Brisbane because it was just a little low flying small-medium aircraft. When I got to Brisbane I switched to a bigger plane and headed on to Sydney, where I rented a car and drove around feeling very cool and elite to be in Sydney on holiday in an expensive new car.

Sydney traffic was scary as hell, and people like to use their horn so much down there I almost felt like I was back in Saigon. I got to Olympic stadium a bit late, well after 1pm and I was paranoid that I would be too late to arrange my access. When I arrived I walked up to the JK Entertainment tent and introduced myself and said “James told me to come see you” and some girl said “James who ?” and I said “James Xiang of course” and she said “Oh you know James ? Cool, talk to Nikki there. He will arrange that for you”. I didn’t contradict her and I went and spoke to Nikki who said he would sort something out and to come back later at 4:30.

I wandered around, enjoying myself watching all the excited fans. My mum had said to me “You know it’s going to be packed with Koreans right ?” and I had said “No it’s not. Other people like Kpop too”. She was right. It was 95% Koreans, of which 90% were teenage girls. Ok, I’m not complaining, but it made me feel a little awkward. Fortunately there was the odd rabid white fan dressed up in band t-shirts or cosplay and carrying posters. I had dressed conservatively since I wanted to look like I was press rather than a crazy fan, and I was conscious of the fact that I didn’t look like I was there to enjoy the concert.

Eventually I spotted the first white guys. Three young guys in matching t-shirts that said “GEE GEE GEE GEE” on the front and “BABY BABY” on the back walked past and I chuckled and gave them a thumbs up. As the day wore on more non-Koreans turned up and I felt more relaxed. Not that I felt that out of place. I don’t care. I know I’m a minority among a minority when it comes to my tastes in weird things.

There were various tents there setup from early in the morning. SBS’s Asian program were there hyping up the crowd and the various sponsors, from Korean cup noodle companies to Hyundai and LG had stalls showing off their latest stuff. The tent which had the biggest line-up was for people to stand beside a cardboard cut-out of their favourite group to have their picture taken. Wooh. Cool. Yay. I’m hoping to see them up close for real.

Come 4pm though Nikki was nowhere to be seen. I rang James and expressed my concern and he said “No worries, there’s still time. Nikki will turn up”. I hung around the JK Ent tent and sure enough Nikki came out of nowhere and said “David, I have you all sorted. Go around to Gate L around the back and ask for Wendy. She’ll show you in”. I thanked him and headed off around to the back of the stadium.

When I approached the gate, a woman (not Wendy) saw my camera around and press lanyard around my neck and said “Press ? This way” and ushered me in and a guide took me up to the third floor where the press conference was. I reached the big wooden doors that looked like they could protect a dwarven fortress and two smiling people stood outside and ask who I was and where I was from. I stuttered and said “I’m not sure if I’m on the list. I was only just added” but I gave them my name and they looked down their list and said “Oh, sure sir. You’re on here. Here’s your media access card and here’s your ticket to the Legends Room for afterwards”.

I looked at the ticket I had been handed and wondered what it was. It appeared to be an entry ticket for the concert, albeit a special one. I slipped it in my pocket and walked in, forgetting about it immediately because in front of me, all lined up, were all my favourite Kpop stars, including SNSD right down the front. I quickly shuffled in and found a spot by the side where I could get decent photos without getting right in and taking one of the few remaining seats.

I quickly SMS’ed my friends and said “I’m in the press conference only about 8 feet from SNSD !” and they were like “OMG If you’re fucking with us that’s not funny”. I assured them it was real and they were intensely jealous. I focused on taking my photos. Yuri was gorgeous… well, they all were. But Yuri was who I was really excited about seeing in the flesh, and she took some interesting questions. Her and Jessica were MC’ing the whole concert it seemed. Various pre-prepared and boring questions were asked and all the performers talked about how great it was to be in Australia and how happy they were to be representing the “new Korean wave”.

Afterwards we had a brief photo shoot and photographers were invited to approach closer if necessary, but I had my big lens on and I was more than close enough to catch every imperfection on the idols’ skin, if indeed they had any. They didn’t really pose much, though SNSD were polite and all waved and smiled and one or two did a little pose with their hands, but nothing over the top.

After that it was over and I finally let out the breath I’d been holding in throughout the conference. The idols all filed out with a final wave and one of the hosts said “Ok, anyone who wants to attend the Legends Room to see the concert from a private suite on level 5, please stand over there and we’ll take you up there”.

I looked at the ticket again. Shit. So we get to see the concert from a private box at the back of the stadium ? Epic. Not only have I never seen a Kpop festival or seen SNSD in concert, or been to Olympic Stadium but now I was going to do all of these things from a private suite at the top of the stadium ? My head swum with the overwhelming feeling of “Could this day POSSIBLY get any better ?”

Most of the press crowd went home and only a small number of us went up to the private box, where waiters came and served us plates of both Korean and Australian snacks. We got meat pies and sushi hahaha. The alcohol wasn’t free sadly, but at least there was no line-up for the bar or toilet since there was lucky to be a dozen of us there by that point. I took my scotch and dry and a piece of sushi out to the seating area outdoors and sat at the back of the stadium and watched smugly as the regular plebs filed in. I told my friends and shelf said “Hey, Kirretov only has a regular silver class seat. You should give him your gold class standing seat”.

I said “But I have that insured. I can get my $300 back if I don’t use it”. “Aww come on. You got lucky. Pass it on down to someone who couldn’t afford something as good”. I quickly realised he was right. Even though I’d paid $300 for my ticket, the three of us were all at the event in different areas due to the class-based society we lived in. Kirretov stuck at the back in the silver seating, shelf down the front in the gold class, and me up the back in the suite. I messaged Kirretov and arranged to meet him outside and give him my gold class ticket so that he could go in with shelf and they could meet up and hang out together. I felt like I’d done my good deed for the day and shared my good fortune around. Everyone was happy.

The camera panned around the stadium showing off people in the crowd on the jumbo screens. Every time it landed on someone they would be looking around for a moment and then see themselves on the screen and go nuts with excitement. One girl saw herself and quickly hid behind her banner and the whole stadium erupted in laughter. It felt like a very warm, together group of people. We were all there for something we loved.

As the lights went down, a countdown was started on the big screen behind the stage and they played brief clips of the artists who would be performing and the crowd went even wilder as they saw their favourite performers. When it reached zero, the crowd screamed and Shinee burst onto the stage to perform Lucifer.

Now I could go on for hours about the performers, but to be honest, it was weeks ago now and really even at the time I only wrote down my vague impressions of them, so here’s what they were.

Shinee fucking rocked out and made me realise why they were the headline act and not 2AM or someone else. I decided I really must listen to more Shinee. They are cool, you know… for a Korean boy band. B2ST got the biggest response from the crowd and as shelf later said, that is the true test of a boy band’s power … how nuts the girls in the audience went, and believe me they went NUTS.

CNBlue were a surprise because I didn’t know them and as it turned out.. they are a real band ! With real instruments that people had to carry on stage for them to play. Not what I was expecting at a Kpop concert, but definitely cool. They were good too. I mean, they’re not L’Arc~en~Ciel, but they were a very cool K-rock band. 2AM were ok, but sorta not as cool as I thought they would be so I can’t say much about them.

The “other” girl groups were the real highlight as I was not expecting how much they would impress me and I was so surprised how many songs I knew. I mean, I pretty much knew every song that was performed by every group. Secret were cool, Sistar were fucking brilliant, and 4 minute were epic. But Kara. Kara fucking rocked out. They blew my mind. Their outfits, their dancing, the power of their music. They were AWESOME !

And then there was SNSD. They were so awesome that the time just flashed by and before I knew it they were gone again and I was crying that it was all over. During Gee I was holding my video camera to catch it on video and taking photographs with the other hand and balancing my Xoom on my lap while dancing in my seat. Sure, my friends were down the front going nuts, but I was pretty cool there, sitting in a seat with a good (though distant) view, a scotch beside me and my tablet on my lap. I looked over and a young Korean journalist’s pregnant wife was looking over at me with a smile on her face.

And then they were over and I was disappointed. But other acts followed to lift me up and the whole show was really stunning. I mean, Kara’s lightshow was A-MAZING. It was truly Pink Floyd quality with tonnes of coloured lasers and smoke and searchlights and stage lights. Shinee had made heavy use of plumes of fire, and I think it was Sistar or Secret who used some fireworks, but Kara’s lightshow was the one that blew me away the most since I’d never been to a concert with such an impressive display and I’d only seen it on concert videos. I really felt like I was right inside one of those amazing Morning Musume concerts in Tokyo that I’d seen on their concert videos.

After the concert I went and hooked up with shelf and Kirretov who I’d met for the first time at the event and we talked about how great it was. Shelf had caught a rose from Sunny of SNSD which was awesome for him and I was secretly very jealous, although Sunny wasn’t my favourite member. Since he was so jealous of me having gotten such special access to see the performers before the show and got such a unique experience seeing them from the suite I felt pretty good and it was fun boasting to it about people for the following days, weeks, months and will no doubt be for years whenever I meet an SNSD fan, which I did a couple of times on the way home.

The couple sitting behind me on the train from Sydney to Brisbane were from Samoa and the Cook Islands and they had come down from Brisbane and gotten gold standing tickets. I was half asleep listening to them and I caught the words “Sunny” and then “Jessica” and quickly spun around to say “Hey, you were at SNSD weren’t you ?” and they were and had booked tickets in August to attend. They were suitably impressed when I told them how I’d gotten to see SNSD before the show and the Samoan girl said “Some have all the luck don’t they ?”

Anyway it was an amazing weekend and I stayed in Sydney an extra day to look around, and when I got to Brisbane I stayed there for three more days chilling at Tin Billy’s in the city and staying in the hotel upstairs before eventually making my way home to Hervey Bay to return to work. I used to watch J and Kpop concerts with Jo years ago and think “God I would love to go to something like that and feel the energy and see that many crazed fans with glow sticks singing along to their favourite idols”. Well, now I’ve done it. And done it in style. Private suite, backstage access. Mwahahaha.

There’s nothing more I can say so I may as well just show you the photos. Oh but if you want to see this amazing show, and you have bittorrent, a full quality professional video of the whole festival is available on bittorrent. I have no idea on what tracker because I only have a magnet URI, but if you stick this into your bittorrent client you should be able to download it if it hasn’t lost all its seeders.

magnet:?xt=urn:btih:40C1F932BC3D026117E6CD81CEF44DA8610BD6FD

And now for those lovely photos. Try and contain your jealousy.

… is sitting around with a flat laptop battery and having the last of your three internet tablets fade and go dim and then you suddenly realise “But wait. I still have a smartphone I can get online with. I’m not completely cut off from the world yet !” And you lunge for it only to see the battery in that’s about to give out like a flickering candle and plunge you into electronic social darkness again and you realise with despair “Fuck. Now I’ll just have to talk to my neighbours and my real life friends”. And suddenly you don’t feel like you have 827 friends anymore.

You’re in the real world again.

FML ? Or is it how life was supposed to be?

You’ve heard of the YouTube channel Epic Meal Time ? Well, it’s a show where they make really stupid, but really epic meals. Normally including about 2 kg of bacon strips in every meal. Well, today they’ve made “Candy Sushi”. This could give you a heart attack just watching it. Do not try this at home kids !

I was rambling on about Sonim tonight on IRC, and noone was listening because everyone was asleep or didn’t care, and I thought my musings warranted a wider audience, so here they are, for google to find and anyone to read if they care.

Who’s Sonim ? ソニン, or Sonim, or Sung Sun-Im, was a Korean-Japanese singer, who first appeared on my radar, and most other people’s I guess, when she formed half of the tween Jpop group EE Jump, who were popular for a split second back in … Oh I really don’t know. About 2002ish maybe I think. It’s hard to say because EE Jump were not important enough to ever warrant a Wikipedia article and while I’m sure they previously have had an article on that site which carries information about EVERYTHING J-pop, wiki.theppn.com, they no longer have an article on them either.

“Should I have heard of EE Jump ?” you may ask. I dunno. Maybe not. I guess if you lived in Japan and listened to mainstream radio and TV you would probably have heard them. Or if you are just a nut who consumes way too much foreign music and doesn’t really know the difference between something that’s popular and something that noone ever even noticed in Japan, like … err.. me, then you might not only remember them but have been a HUGE FAN.

Ok well, of at least one song anyway. This one.

Come on. That was epic. You loved it. Don’t lie. It was fucking awesome. Seishun no Sunrise was also pretty cool and Sonim was really cute in that.

Ok I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I loved those songs. Aaaanyway the story goes like this. EE Jump were a Tsunku produced side project, because the boy Yuki was Maki Goto’s little brother, so Tsunku chucked him in a group with this half-Korean girl Sonim, and they knocked out a song or six and were super popular for, I dunno, five minutes. Until Yuki got caught drinking in a bar underage. And we know Tsunku doesn’t stand for that shit from his stars, so he suspended Yuki and just went with Sonim and she was actually more popular, though her solo songs weren’t as catchy, and she release a number of singles and an album before “EE Jump” (ie her) disbanded.

Sonim did form another group with Oosawa Akane, called “Tomboy” who were actually pretty cool and a little more mature (thank god) than EE Jump, though definitely heavily late teen idol style pop music, but quite listenable and I’d definitely give her a few minutes of my time (I mean to listen to her music. Get your mind out of the gutter).

Later she went on to pursue a career in acting, and I get the impression she must have been pretty serious about it because she’s been in a few alright shows although I havent seen any except the awesome Densha Otoko, and I’m not sure who she played in that, though I’m sure she was cute in it.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, since I was talking about her, I went on to look her up and found her website (Japanese language) which disturbed me a bit with the picture on the front. Ok, so despite the fact that her last pop group was called Tomboy, she didn’t look like one, but she does now. Ok. so I know it’s just for her current movie, right ?

Or is it ? I just wanna know. Coz Sonim, you’re freaking me out, and I just wanna know… are you a lesbian now ? You just look a little too comfortable with that short hair !

Please don’t hate me for saying that !

Also, does anyone else remember Sonim ? Am I the only foreigner following her career ? Who even remembers EE Jump ? Seriously, I’m the only one, aren’t I ? I thought so.

Sonim, or others, send your angry emails about this article to pawz@teamroot.net as usual.

Here’s Sonim looking all hot and lesbian-ish. What do you think ? Personally Sonim, I think you better grow that hair back or I won’t love you anymore. You know what I’m sayin ? We’ll be through. You don’t want that, right ? Good. Grow it back naoplzkthxgo.

Sonim, Y U No like men anymore ?

Psst, for the benefit of the odd few people who are going to read this and get cranky at me and say “Short hair doth not a lesbian make !”, I’m just joking. It’s just a random thought I’ve had for a while. But seriously Sonim, email me and we can put this myth to rest ;”)

Ok, I know I haven’t posted anything technical in a while, but this is just something I wanted to be able to find again later, so here it is. Now I’ve never been a big fan of moving to 64 bit operating systems (other than Mac OS X which does it with ease). Other than a few rare, rare abilities which I am very unlikely to use, I don’t see the benefit of switching to 64 bit linux when it’s likely to introduce other problems. But other desktop linux users swore to me “No, it’s cool. There’s no problems I swear”. Dubiously, I installed 64 bit Fedora 16 on my Lenovo laptop, only to find on the first day that numerous binary only pieces of software like Skype and Picasa were simply not available in 64 bit versions and to get them to work you would have to install swathes of 32 bit libraries before they would work, muddying your pristine 64 bit system with 32 bit crap. Sigh. Liars. Linux users will tell you anything when it comes to promoting how bloody great their systems are.

Anyway, Picasa was even more problematic than Skype because it uses WINE to run, so it wasn’t just a case of it needing 32 bit libraries because it installs a bunch of WINE libraries of its own. However with a bit of research I found that the solution was very simple.

1. Install Picasa’s Repository

Put this into a file called /etc/yum.repos.d/picasa.repo

[google]
name=Google – i386
baseurl=http://dl.google.com/linux/rpm/testing/i386
enabled=1
gpgkey=https://dl-ssl.google.com/linux/linux_signing_key.pub

2. Install Picasa

yum install picasa

3. Install WINE

yum install wine

4. Copy the necessary 64 bit wine files over top of Picasa’s crappy 32 bit ones

cp -f /usr/bin/wine-preloader /opt/google/picasa/3.0/wine/bin/wine-preloader
cp -f /usr/lib/wine/wininet.dll.so /opt/google/picasa/3.0/wine/lib/wine/wininet.dll.so

And voila ! Your Picasa should now work perfectly without crashing on startup. Segfaults begone !

It seems to be the thing these days to put crazy clauses in your warranties or license agreements. I mean we all know about the iTunes license agreement right ?

You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missiles, or chemical or biological weapons.

But I saw this crazy one on Asus’s warranty agreement today:

The warranty will not apply to or be valid under conditions including but not limited to the following:
There is damage caused by natural disaster, intentional or unintentional misuse, acts of war, space invasions, abuse, neglect, improper maintenance, or use under abnormal conditions

Yes, Asus specifically exclude alien invasion from space. That’s very specific isn’t it ? What if they come from another dimension ? Or if they were already on Earth ? Ha ! Shot yourself in the foot there didn’t you Asus ?

Who writes this crap ? Is that a joke to see if people really read their warranty terms ? That’s fucking hilarious ! If that’s NOT a deliberate joke, then clearly the whole concept of these legal documents is a bit of a joke when they have to inform you that you can’t use iTunes to build a nuclear bomb, or that if aliens descend from Mars and zap your laptop with an EMP ray that it’s not covered by warranty.

Or maybe Asus know something we don’t ? ….. scary thought isn’t it ?

You cannot have too much Gee in your life, amirite ?

So here’s some more… it’s the half-jazz, half-rock version !

Or very close to.

I both didn’t want to post and I desperately wanted to post to tell you that you’re on my mind tonight. It’s only a couple of weeks from being five years since you died, but I wanted you to know that I don’t only think about you three times a year. I miss you often.

Someone on IRC said something and Sawako, one of my IRC bots came up with a weird response that incorporated a quote from a friend from IRC who died not long ago and I thought it was intriguing the way in the bots’ mind, people don’t fade away and their memories are just as fresh as ever, and I thought how amusing it would be if I had a bot that quoted funny things you’d said. But of course I never hung out with you on IRC or on forums so I just don’t know what funny things you said online.

I’m sitting on the beach. It’s 1am in the morning and I am across from my house on the beachfront on the esplanade. Less than 1km along the beachfront from the last place I ever saw you in fact. I can see the lights of the pier beside me to remind me of that fact. I was supposed to go visit the family, but I didn’t because I couldn’t sleep and I was tired and not feeling the best, so I just hung out at home and cleaned the house and listened to all my Vietnamese CD’s that I’d bought overseas.

I’m hoping to do something special to mark the 5 years since you died. I want to do two things but I might not accomplish both. I want to go out to the spot where you died, where dad has a cross for you and I want to put a little tiny plaque on it. I have no idea what it will say yet, I just know that in 5 years, despite driving past it, I have no idea where you died and I have never seen that cross. It’s always been too much for me to go out there, but I have wanted to and this year I think is the year.

I’ll of course drink Bundy for you as well. That goes without saying. I’ve done it every year no matter where I am on Earth. Even if I was in Egypt or Iran I would smuggle in some Bundy rum for the purpose. But I do want to do something else. Tonez and I have been talking about it for nearly 5 solid years. We wanna get matching tattoos for you. I’m not sure it’ll happen this year, but we’re working on it. It depends on cost and time and how much money I’ve saved to get back to Asia. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t begrudge me prioritising my Asian journey over your tattoo would you ? We’ll see. If not this year then the next.

I thought I had philosophical things to say about this moment but they seem to have dispersed on the cool night air that I’m enjoying sitting down here on the beach. But with the waves crashing against the shore I’m sure I’ll think of something. Let me just tell you about stuff instead, because that tends to feel good. I know I normally do this on YOUR blog, but I prefer to keep that blog to three times a year unless something special happens, although to be honest, maybe it has.

I went to a Kpop concert and saw SNSD. I know you don’t know who they are, but you would have, if you had been alive when they came about. Kpop is having a huge surge in popularity around the world right now, far more than Jpop for some reason, although I suspect that it’s because it’s a fewer number of groups that are popular. Jpop is fragmented over many, many popular groups, while Kpop currently has a very focused set of groups who are immensely popular. I heard that SNSD made 35 million dollars on their latest single in one month in Japan alone, and they’re not even Japanese !

Anyway, I saw them in concert, and even got backstage to photograph them. I won’t go on and on because that’s another story to tell, but honestly… it felt like the penultimate experience in my life, other than having Suki. I used to watch amazing Jpop concerts in Japan on TV and think “fuck that looks like the most amazing thing on earth. I wonder what it’s like to go to a concert like that and be surrounded by so many crazy obsessed fans”. Well apparently now I know. I even know what they look like up close because I got press access coz I’m just THAT fucking cool.

I had this weird chat tonight. Not sure if it was for realz or not though. Amber called up. You know Amber, right ? She was that young girl I dated during my first year of university while she was in her first year of senior college. I hadn’t seen her in years and I only caught up with her a few years ago very briefly right after Jo and I split up, and for whatever reason (I probably talked about Jo too much) she stopped talking to me and we lost contact.

Anyway she rings me up out of the blue because Tonez is at her house and they’re getting drunk and very quickly the conversation gets onto kids and how much she wants one and I jokingly say “I told you years ago that I had sperm frozen. You are welcome to that if you want, but I stopped paying for the storage so I guess I’ll have to produce more if you want it. But you know I produce great kids. I have a track record of it”. Next thing you know we’re making some weird arrangement to sleep together so that she can have a kid, LOL. I don’t think it was very serious hehe, though it’s not the first time she’s talked about it.

Anyway I’m sure Amber’s offer was just a drunken joke. It went a little bit too extreme for me to believe and to be honest, if I didn’t know her better I would seriously think that she was taking the piss out of me for lulz, but I’m sure that’s not the case. I was talking to someone today about how hard mum worked to have you and how many miscarriages she had before she finally had you. You were sort of a miracle baby too, just like Suki.

Anyway, look, you’re far from forgotten mate. Tones remembers you. Even Peta and all our friends from West Australia remember you. Everyone does. You will live on forever in our memories, if not the parroted phrases of an IRC bot. Someone tonight told me to “let go”, and sure, I get that. But wtf does that mean ? Does that mean not being sad close to the anniversary of your death when I’m sitting so close to the last place I saw you, or not having a Bundy in your honour ? Coz if that’s what “letting go” means, I don’t want to do it. Your memory isn’t holding me back. If anything, it’s spurring me to new hights to make you proud of me, just as I hope Suki and all my future children will be.

So here I am, sitting on the beach at 1:30am, with a bottle of red wine beside me, my laptop in my hand, and my phone up on the top of the concrete wall, hoping desperately for a decent signal. Sure, I’m sad you’re gone, but as long as I can share the things I’m into with you, that’s at least half of the equation. I only wonder… what would you be into today if you were alive ?

I’m going to be seeing SNSD tomorrow at the KPOP Music fest at ANZ Stadium in Sydney !
I already have tickets. VIP standing. $306 baby.

I just have to work out the best way to get there, balancing both fun and economy.

Also Kara, Sistar, 4 Minute, 2AM and others ! YAY !

Here’s the website for the event.

http://www.kpopmusicfest.com.au/

THE Philippines welcomed one of the world’s symbolic “seven billionth” babies today, after she arrived to a celebratory cheer at a packed government-run hospital.
Weighing 2.5 kilos (5.5 pounds), Danica May Camacho was delivered just before midnight amid an explosion of media flash bulbs in the delivery room at Manila’s Jose Fabella Memorial Hospital.

“I can’t believe she is the world’s seventh billion” said mother, Camille Dalura.

The child is one of several in countries around the world being declared a symbolic seven billionth human.

Ever since I was young, I always thought “I wonder when we will reach 7 billion people in the world. We’re so close”. Well, now we have, and I think its an amazing milestone in human history. I think it marks a stage of human evolution.

The day we became 7 billion.

Danica May Camacho. Our 7 billionth baby

This morning I woke up really early because I heard Tonez get up. I decided to have a cone. That of course left me wide awake and I thought I’d go out for a walk on the Esplanade, since I live right on the beach. I took a walk down to the pier and took some photos as the sun was coming up.

On the way back home, I thought “I haven’t been swimming in a long time”. So I just emptied my pockets and left my stuff on the steps in front of the storm wall and jumped in the water. It was very cold at first but refreshing once I got used to it and I wasn’t in a hurry to get back out again.

Ahh, beachside life in Australia does have some things going for it, doesn’t it ?